her vagine was all disorganized.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
