this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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