And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
