he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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