If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
