I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dignity is for republicans.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
