I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
