i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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