He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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