If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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