toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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