come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize