Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
