she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
