I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
