whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
