needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Enjoy the penises
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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