Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
