I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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