Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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