Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
