Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
