Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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