I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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