ugly people sure do ruin things
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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