hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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