I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
