please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
