I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
