All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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