I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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