You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
accomplished twins. life is a go
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
40s are totally the cure
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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