well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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