In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
