So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
