I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
