stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
