I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
