Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize