I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Houston, we have a blender
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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