Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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