You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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