just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
