girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
