i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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