I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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