she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
