My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
