She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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