I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
