So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
