So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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