Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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