can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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