let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
