Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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