I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
