So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
