yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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