Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
