you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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