You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Boobs speak an international language.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
