I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am available for nakedness
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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